Asking for Help

I don't know how I did it, but the spine in my upper back between the shoulder blades must have a bone or two out of place. Last night was when the pain started and nothing I have done since then has eased the pain. Picking up my head, sitting up, and even taking a deep breath all cause a tremendous amount of pain to surge through me. My husband is at work so I had my kids try to massage it and apply as much pressure as they could to the area in an effort to try and pop the bone or bones back into place. My son even sat on my back and rocked back and forth to no avail. I finally told them to stop and then proceeded to try and get up from the floor so I could start my day. Once I finally was able to get up, which took quite a while because of how painful it was to move, I decided to start by doing my devotions.

I turned to the passage in II Timothy 2:1-7 and began reading. I actually laughed when I read verse 3 which says "Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus." Yup, God has a great sense of humor sometimes. I finished reading the devotional and then picked up my journal to write. The first thing I said was how hard it was to concentrate on His word when I was in so much pain. I really thought I was just going to cry out to Him for healing so that my back would stop hurting, but He had something else He wanted me to realize.

He brought to mind that I didn't ask the kids to help me when I was trying to get up from the floor. They were both there and could see how much pain I was in. I know if I had asked them to help, they would have gladly done whatever they could have to help me. I don't even remember if one of them had asked "Can I help?", but I know my answer would have been "no" because I wouldn't have wanted one of them to get hurt or to feel bad if they weren't successful in their efforts to help me get up. I then had the dreaded "Why" questions pop into my head. Why had I not asked for their help? Why did I do it on my own and suffer with all that pain when I probably wouldn't have felt so much pain if I had asked for help? I'm sure you can see where this is headed too. God was using exactly what I was going through to teach me a valuable lesson.

Why had I not asked my kids for their help? I didn't want one of them to get hurt. I'm much bigger than they are and I don't know that they would have been much help anyway. Then God asked "Why don't you ask ME for help when you need it?" I certainly couldn't answer that the same way I answered the first question! God is so much bigger and more powerful than me. I realized though that there are times I do try to do things on my own and I struggle through it, when I could have had it so much easier had I just asked God for His help. That's when I realized that the second why question that had popped into my head could also be applied here. Why did I do it on my own and suffer with all that pain when I probably wouldn't have felt so much pain if I had asked for help? When someone assists you in getting up, your muscles don't have to work as hard and therefore the pain would more than likely have been lessened since my muscles wouldn't have been pulling on the bones that are out of alignment in my back and causing me pain. How many times have I tried to do things on my own and had to go through pain because I didn't ask God for help first? God doesn't want us to be in pain. He loves us! He wants to help us! WHY would I not ask for help from my all-powerful Savior?! Why would I choose to suffer and struggle to get through something when I could simply ask God to help me and lessen or even remove that pain?

I don't know what you are going through, but I do know that God is able to help. There is nothing He can't do. Don't struggle through it alone. Allow God to help ease the load. Be free from the pain that struggling through it in your own power causes. Feel God's power as He works. Don't be afraid to ask for help!

Look Ahead, Not Behind

I have become increasingly aware of the fact that I need to work on being more patient with my children, especially my strong-willed daughter. I also know that I tend to say things I shouldn't when I get upset, and then I go back later and apologize for what I said. I want my children to know how to handle difficult situations in a Godly way and I was not setting a very good example! The other Sunday, the pastor at church did a sermon and at the end, we wrote down our sin that we struggle with on a small piece of paper. We then walked up to a cross and nailed that piece of paper to the cross, putting our sin back where it belonged. I knew immediately what I wanted to write on that paper. I wrote how I needed to be more patient and watch what I say when I am angry or frustrated. It felt wonderful to put that sin back on the cross and walk away!

This week, God has been dealing with me on all of this again. On Monday, I read Philippians 2:4 in my devotions. It says, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." My first thought upon reading that verse was "Ouch! I hear you, Lord!" I knew God was reminding me of how I want my kids to listen to what I am saying, but I don't want to listen to what they have to say. If they are disobeying, I don't want to listen to their excuses. I just want them to listen to what I saying. It was clear to me that I needed to learn to listen to them more so I could show them that they are important to me. I know I am constantly telling my daughter that she needs to not talk so much and she needs to listen more. I remind her that she has two ears and one mouth so she is suppose to listen twice as much as she talks. I guess God was letting me know to take my own advice! I too need to learn to talk less and listen more.

Yesterday morning, my devotions were flooded with verses and statements that spoke so clearly to me. Proverbs 15:1 says "A soft answer turns away wrath." and James 1:19 tells us to be "slow to speak". At the very end of the devotional (I use Our Daily Bread) is usually a poem and what I call the thought for the day. Yesterday's poem was the following by someone with the last name of Hess:

Lord, set a guard upon my lips,
My tongue control today,
Help me evaluate each thought
And watch each word I say.

The thought for the day was "Bite your tongue before your tongue bites others."
Again I was amazed at how God made it crystal clear to me what He was trying to teach me. I finished up my devotions by praying and simply letting God know that I would obey His word. Little did I know just how quickly all this would be put to the test.

Yesterday, my daughter tested me to my maximum. In the afternoon, she did something that definitely deserved punishment. When I discovered what she did, I didn't use a gentle voice. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was so angry and so hurt by what she had done that I lost it. Later, I felt horrible when I realized that I had again failed God in the way I had handled things. Yes, my daughter needed to know that what she had done was wrong and she needed to suffer the consequences for her actions; but I knew I should have walked away until I could calmly and rationally speak to her about how wrong it was for her to do what she had done. I felt so defeated. Then my nephew Timothy called me. He had seen my status on Facebook that said I needed prayer and he wanted to make sure I was ok. We talked for awhile and one thing he said to me really stuck in my head. He said "God chose you to be Sarah's mom because He knew you would be the best person to teach her God's ways." I'm amazed at the wisdom of this young man, and I am truly blessed to be called his aunt! I'm so proud of the fact that he recently has accepted the call into the ministry! He's going to be an amazing pastor!

This morning, I picked up my Bible to do my devotions and quietly said "Lord, I need to hear your voice." My throat had started to hurt last night and it was still hurting this morning. I knew my cold seems to be coming back and I felt that this was my punishment for screaming at my daughter. God already knew how I was feeling, and that I needed to hear from Him. He answered me in such an amazing way that I could only cry out of thanksgiving for His love for me. A few verses in I Samuel 12 seemed to leap out of the page as I read them. The first verse I noticed was verse 20 which says "Do not be afraid, Samuel replied. You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart." Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt that even though I had failed, the Lord was telling me to not turn away from Him. He wanted me to just continue to serve Him with all my heart. The next verse that jumped out at me was verse 22 which says "For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own." Again I was overwhelmed. God wasn't rejecting me. I belong to Him! I am one of His people and He was pleased when He made me! Next came verse 23b which says, "I will teach you the way that is good and right." I cried again because that is my goal! That is what I want to do with my kids! I want to teach them what is good and right. It was just as if God was showing me that He would show me what is good and right so that I could accomplish what my goal is too! The final verse I read was verse 24 which says, "But be sure to fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you." God was reminding me to remember all that He has already done for me. He has forgiven me before and He will continue to do so as long as I seek His forgiveness. I can continue to faithfully serve the Lord with all my heart because He is faithful to forgive me and show me what He wants me to do.

As if all these verses weren't enough, God continued to speak to me through the poem and thought for the day. The poem was by D. De Haan. It said:

Sins confessed you must forget;
Look not back to yesterday-
Full of failure and regret;
Look ahead and seek God's way.

Finally, the thought for the day was "Don't let yesterday's failures bankrupt tomorrow's efforts." Wow! I so needed to read that! God was so clearly telling me to forget about my failure yesterday. He had already forgiven and forgotten about it. I just needed to look ahead and keep trying my best to live my life His way. 

I don't know who else may read this, but I know that God wanted me to share what He has been teaching me. Usually that means someone else will need to hear these things too. No matter what your sin may be or what you struggle with, I know God will forgive you too. Don't give up! It's easy to get frustrated and feel defeated when you keep failing at something you are trying so hard to overcome. We are human and God loves each and every one of us just the way we are. Don't allow yourself to be defeated by your failures. Ask for His help and keep pressing forward!

Through the Difficulties

Don't you just love it when you are doing your devotions and God tells you something that you really needed to hear? That is what happened to me this morning, and I just knew that I had to share it on here. I hope it helps someone else the way it helped me.

Isaiah 43:2 says "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." We all face difficulties in our life, but their severity will be different. When our struggle is minor, it may just take a little work to get through it...like needing to swim across a swimming pool in order to get out. Isn't it an amazing thing to know that God promises that He will always be there, even if we don't feel like we need His help? Other times, it may feel like we are in a raging river and everything we do is a struggle. We may feel like we are drowning, but God promises that those "waves" won't sweep over us! We will make it across our "river"! Then there are those extremely difficult times, like walking through a fire. Fire refines and purifies. It is during these darkest and hardest times that God is getting rid of junk in our lives and is purifying us so that WHEN we make it out of the "fire", we are more like Him. Even in the midst of these times, God promises that we will not be hurt or destroyed. It may feel that way, but God's promises are true. We just need to trust in His promises and keep moving forward.

Did you notice that this verse always says when? WHEN you go through the water, WHEN you go through the river, WHEN you go through the fire. It's not IF we face a difficult situation, it's WHEN you face it. We have to face difficulties in order for God to teach us what He wants us to learn. The verse also points out that we have to go THROUGH the difficult times. It would be nice to just be able to avoid them somehow, but that would not allow us to experience God's presence and see how He works in and through us as a result of what we just went through.

God simply let me know this morning that I have to go through the difficult times that come along so that I can be purified and made more like Him. I realized how many times I have disappointed Him because I didn't handle the difficult situation the way He wanted me to; and therefore, I didn't learn what He was trying to teach me. He pointed out an ongoing situation that I continue to struggle in. It was an ouch moment for a little bit, but then I had to smile because I knew that He was pointing it out to me because He loves me. He wanted me to be aware of the fact that He wants and needs me to learn how to deal with this so I can be more like Him. I know I probably won't be successful immediately, but I have a whole new outlook and I am more optimistic that He will work ALL things out for His good if I am faithful in doing things HIS way instead of my own.

Obviously I don't know what every person who read this blog is going through. What I do know is this: God WILL be there WHEN you go through a difficult time. You WILL make it through the difficulties and you'll be stronger because of it! NOTHING can harm or destroy you when you rely on God's strength and wisdom to see you through. BELIEVE in His promises because they are always true! God wants to teach you something through these difficulties you face. WHEN you make it through, you will be more like Christ. Trust Him!

Who Are You Trying to Please?

It amazes me how often God speaks so clearly to people, even though we may not always hear it. Sometimes we don't hear it because we aren't listening. Sometimes we don't hear it because we don't want to. Whenever I pick up the Bible to read, I try my best to listen to what God may be saying to me. That isn't always easy to do when my little boy seems to know exactly when I pick up my Bible to do devotions and somehow that means he's suppose to come into my room and start chatting away. LOL! Some days he doesn't like to hear "Please go back upstairs and play so that mommy can read her Bible and do devotions.", but he's learning that it's important for mommy to do that and he's usually good about going back upstairs to play for a few more minutes.

Yesterday in my devotions was one of those times that God spoke to me loud and clear. In I Thessalonians 2:4b, Paul says, "We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts." Then again in verse 6a, he says: "We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else". I immediately thought of the fact that I had just sang on worship team the day before and I could almost hear God reminding me of that and asking "Who are you trying to please?"

I have been singing in front of people ever since I was a little girl. As I have gotten older, I have become aware of how easy it can be to love hearing the compliments I receive after I have sung. It's easy to think of how all eyes are on you as you are standing up in front of everyone. I have seen how some people focused too much on that attention and their ministry did not seem to be as effective. I realized it was because their focus was not where it should have been. I always try to keep in mind that I am not singing at the front of the church to get attention from people or to hear others tell me how nice I sing. I do my best to focus on one thing: I am singing for God, and God alone!

I then thought of how easy it can be to seek approval from people. We all want people to like us. We enjoy getting compliments from people. I'm not saying it is wrong to give or receive a compliment, but we shouldn't be doing something just to get those compliments. Whenever we do something, we should be doing it to the best of our ability. It's easy to see that would please people when we do this; but more importantly, it pleases God! In Colossians 3:23-24 it says "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

So, now for the challenge. The next time you are doing something, stop and think "Who am I trying to please?" If the answer is anyone other than God, then try to get your focus back where it needs to be.

God Sees Everything

As I read my devotions today, I noticed that a particular sentence kept reappearing. In Matthew 6, Jesus said three times: "Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." It is found in verses 4,6, and 18 and was said in regard to giving, praying, and fasting. We are not to do things just so other people notice and praise us for what we did. If we do that, we've already received our reward here on earth and we won't receive one in heaven. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather receive a reward from God Himself than from anyone here on earth!

What came to my mind each time I read "Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." was the fact that I sing on the worship team at my church. I know God has given me the gift of singing, but I am obviously not using that gift "in secret". Yes, I do sing when no one else can hear me; but I can't sing in secret when I'm standing up on the stage. It was then that I realized God was reminding me of my attitude when I was singing. It can be easy to get into the mindset of wanting to hear compliments from people when you are doing something up front for all to see. It can be easy to feel upset when the same people always get solos, and you are not one of those who get one. I've dealt with these feelings a lot, but Satan continues to try to trip me up and get me to focus on the wrong things. What I have tried to do is keep my focus on God. He is the one I'm singing to. He is the one who has given me this gift and I want to praise Him with it. I don't need to hear other people tell me how pretty I sounded. I don't need to sing a solo so everyone can hear just my voice. God hears ME every time that I sing, even if no one else can!! God wants me to focus on HIM when I sing, not anyone else. When I keep my focus on Him, I am worshipping Him the way He wants and He accepts that offering.

I'm sure there are others who may read this blog that are using a gift or talent that God has given to them and it something public, that all can see. Maybe you are discouraged because you feel that no one cares or appreciates what you do. Maybe you never hear "thank you" for what you do. I understand that it can be easy to get frustrated and maybe even cause you to consider quitting what you are doing. I just want to encourage you to NOT get discouraged when people don't acknowledge all that you do. Be reminded of the promise that GOD sees what is done "in secret". To me, "in secret" refers to that what people cannot see. God sees your heart and therefore your motives. Others may not know what your true motives are for doing things, but God does. You WILL be rewarded if you are doing what God has called you to do if you are doing it with pure motives. Hearing God say "Thank You!" will be far better than hearing it from people here on earth! Persevere! Keep doing what you are doing and don't let Satan get you discouraged when he tries to tell you no one notices or cares. He is a liar! GOD notices and He cares!

The Cookie Angel

I know some of you who read my blog are aware of what we've gone through with our neighbors. For those of you who don't know the situation, suffice it to say we've had trouble with these neighbors the entire time we've lived here (9 years in September). Almost from the start, we've felt it was a spiritual battle because we are Christians and these people obviously are not. We tried to stay to ourselves, but sometimes it was close to impossible when they would get verbally abusive and would threaten my husband whenever he did say anything.

A few months ago, I was in the living room and the air conditioner was on. I turned off the air and immediately became aware that there was a lot of noise coming from outside. At first, I ignored it because I thought it was an argument. As I continued to hear raised voices, I realized that something was wrong. I opened the front door, but I didn't see anything. I could, however, hear the voices were in our neighbor's back yard. I went to our back door and opened it. I saw some people in the neighbor's yard and I asked if someone needed help. They replied no because the lady's son was handling it. It was then I saw the neighbor give me a look that at first I thought was an angry glare, so I simply said "OK." and I closed the door. A few minutes later, I noticed an ambulance pull up and the neighbor's mom was loaded in. A week later, I saw our neighbor outside when we came home from church. I decided to ask him how his mom was doing. He was on his cell phone so I waited. He kept looking at me so I knew he too wanted to say something, so I silently breathed a prayer for God to help our words to be pleasing to Him. When he got off the phone, I asked how his mom was and he said that she had broken her elbow and was getting surgery the next day on it. He then thanked me for asking if they needed help! I apologized that I hadn't heard her cries for help sooner, but I was at the front of the house with the air conditioner on and it wasn't until I had turned off the air conditioner that I heard the commotion. He understood and accepted my apology. I truly think that the fact that I had gone to see if they needed help in spite of how awful they have treated us for 9 years made an impression on him, and then I apologized on top of that for not hearing sooner.

Since that initial conversation, we've talked to them a few times. Our conversations may not always be real long, and some are just to say hello, but it is a huge improvement considering the words being spoken by all are said with kindness instead of anger. Yesterday, my husband and my son were out hunting so my daughter and I decided to make Christmas cookies. Before starting the last batch, I was putting the cookies that had cooled into a container and I realized we had A LOT of cookies. I felt impressed to take some cookies over to our neighbors. To be honest, I have felt like doing that before, but I was sure they'd probably just throw them in the garbage thinking we were trying to kill them or something! LOL! This time, however, I didn't hesitate. I went to find a container and put in a few cookies. I walked next door and rang the doorbell. I was invited in and simply said that I had been making Christmas cookies and I wanted to give some to them if they wanted them. The adult daughter was there and said "You are like an angel! My mom just said that she wished she could make cookies, but she can't do anything with her arm. She JUST got done saying that and you rang the doorbell with cookies! I have chills!" I have chills typing this! I smiled and said "Well, I guess that's why I felt that I should come give you cookies!" The mom came over and gave me a HUG! As I was hugging her back, I was filled with awe that this was happening. 

I couldn't help but smile as I walked back over to our house. I thanked God for being so awesome. I was thankful that the one batch of oatmeal cookies had made far more than I had imagined. I had actually split the oatmeal cookie dough in half and made half with raisins and half with chocolate chips. Each type made close to 4 dozen cookies! I hadn't doubled the recipe, but God must have multiplied the dough! I was thankful that I had listened to that feeling about giving the neighbors some cookies. I was thankful I didn't dismiss the thought or delayed in bringing them the cookies. I went at the exact time God wanted me to, and it made a huge impact on our neighbors...and on me! I'm not often called "an angel", but it was an awesome experience to know that God used my homemade cookies (which just so happened to be my grandma's recipe, who is singing with the angels now) to further mend the rift between our neighbors and us.

What Are You Wearing?

Colossians 3:12 says, "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." When I read that verse, I thought of what it means to clothe yourself. It means you are putting something on that everyone who looks at you will see. I then looked back at the verse to take another look at what God thinks is important for others to see when they look at us. God wants others to see compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience when they look at us.

What I see in all those character traits is that we are to be thinking of other people before ourselves. We are to be putting their needs before our own. We are to show them how much we care about them because by doing that, we will be showing them how much God cares about them. That is why I believe God wants us to be clothing ourselves with these traits. He wants everyone who looks at us to see that we genuinely have a love and concern for others. The way we treat others will either point them to or away from Him.

For me, I know that it is not easy to be showing patience or humility all the time. I'm sure everyone who may read this blog could say the same thing about at least one of these traits. It may not be the same ones that I struggle with, but I am certain that each person has something that they find hard to do. We are human, and thankfully God knows we are not perfect. We won't be able to do this on our own. It is something we truly need to daily ask God to help us do.

What do people see when they look at you? What are you wearing? What have you clothed yourself in? This verse has really given me something to strive for. I truly want others to see in me the things God wants them to see. I am determined to do my best to clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I want to point others toward God and not away from Him.