Fruit of the Spirit

The Hidden Hearts group I'm in has two verses for me to memorize this month. They are found in Galatians 5:22-23 and state "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no luck." I knew what the fruits of the Spirit were before I memorized these verses, but God really spoke to me today as I was reading the passage that included these verses.


The passage we are to read this month is Galatians 5:13-26, and then we are to memorize the two verses I quoted above. As I read through the passage, I was struck by verses 16 and 17 which say "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want."  I thought of how I do experience that conflict when I say or do something that is not pleasing to the Lord. 


Then I began to read verses 19-21 which state "The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." At the start of these verses, it was easy for me to think that I didn't have a problem staying away from these. Then I saw one in particular that God seemed to put in bold print: fits of rage. As a mom of two kids, it can be very easy for me to explode when my kids have been fighting non-stop with one another or when they do something I've them a billion times not to do and especially when they choose to lie to me rather than tell the truth and just accept whatever the consequences will be. God has been making me aware of how many times I lose my cool and say things I shouldn't when I get upset. I've been working in this specific area and have gotten better, but I still have times when I simply lose it and I sadly have to admit that I go into what I call a "fit of rage". For me, my fits of rage include me yelling and screaming and saying things that no mom should ever say to her child. There are times I can catch myself before I say something, and then there are other times where I simply let those things fly out of my mouth. I feel horrible every time that happens and I have to go back and apologize for what I said. Problem is, I can't take back what was said. My child or children heard what was said and they probably won't ever forget it. I can only hope and pray that God will help my children be all He wants them to be in spite of my failures.


Since the verses that list the fruit of the Spirit come immediately after these verses, it was easy for me to see that the "fits of rage" that I deal with are clearly a lack of self-control on my part. God gently spoke to me and told me that when I feel myself getting frustrated or even angry, I need to quickly remember the fruit of the Spirit so that I can speak and act in a way that displays those fruit to my kids. I was able to put it into practice today when I instructed my children on how they were to behave and just minutes later, I discovered they had disobeyed me. I went over the fruit of the Spirit with them one by one and helped them to see that they have not been displaying the fruit of the Spirit by the way they were acting. Just a little while ago, I saw my daughter hit her brother. At first, I yelled 'Hey! Go stand in the corner!" I then told her to think about what fruit of the Spirit she was not displaying when she reacted the way she just had. After allowing her to stand in the corner for a few minutes, she came out and I asked her for her answer. At first she just said "all of them" and I had to tell her I wanted specific ones. She was then able to tell me that mostly she had not displayed self-control, kindness and goodness. I told her good, and then added that she should probably have included love in her list because hitting someone the way she had was not showing love. 


Since I was brutally honest in this blog post, you can tell that I am not perfect...and I know that. Thankfully, God knows that too and He is working in and through me on a daily basis. He hasn't given up on me yet, so I haven't given up either. I know that I want to change and become all HE wants me to be. I know He will help me be the best mom I can be to my kids so that they grow up to know, love, and serve Him. What I plan on doing as much as possible from now on is stopping to pray whenever I feel myself getting frustrated or angry. I will pray for God to help me display the fruit of the Spirit in everything I say and do. I am so thankful that God knows my heart and He knows I love Him. I'm also thankful that He loves me enough to show me things that I need to change.