I'll Never Forget You Grandma!

Heaven gained another saint today. Jesus finally called my grandma home this morning. Our family knew that she was on heaven's doorstep for the past three weeks, but Jesus kept telling her to wait for some reason. I'm not certain what that reason was, but I'm wondering if it was because just one more person needed to come to know the Lord because of her. Just a few days ago, hospice nurses finally started to show up in an effort to ease the workload of my one aunt especially who was caring for grandma. Two of my aunts were able to share their faith with a few of the nurses who came to the house, and I have to wonder whether one (or more) of those nurses needed to hear about the Lord and that's why grandma had to wait a little longer before she was able to go home. If just one more person came to know the Lord because of grandma, I know she would have agreed that the wait was worth it. My grandma was a woman who had incredible faith, and everyone in my family is a better person because of her. My one cousin asked all of the grandkids to write down a memory we had of grandma. I wrote a lot more than just one, so I decided to put my list here as well so that anyone who may come across my blog and read this post might be able to see what an amazing woman my grandma was! I remember when I was a child, standing outside waiting for the school bus to come, we all would be freezing in the winter and would be doing whatever it took to try and stay warm. We noticed grandma taking her daily walk, and her coat was WIDE OPEN! She smiled when she saw us and simply replied in her cheerful way "It's a bit nippy out today!" I remember going sledding with my sisters and grandma came up to visit. We had a round red sled and we asked grandma if she wanted to go sledding with us. She came right over, sat down on the red sled, and down the hill she went yelling "Weeeeeeee!!!!!" all the way down! I remember grandma always having some freshly baked cookies for us whenever we came to visit. I also remember baking cookies with grandma. Of course, that always included eating some raw cookie dough too! I remember walking into grandma's house and seeing her on her knees in front of her chair, praying for everyone in the family by name. I know she has left us a wonderful legacy! Grandma had such an incredible faith and love for the Lord that I wanted to be just like her. I know I am no where near the person she was, but I do have a deep faith in the Lord that I am certain is a result of growing up with grandma in my life. I admire the way she always spoke gently to us when we did something wrong. I don't remember ever hearing her yell because she was mad or angry. I know I can't say the same for me! I pray that the Lord will give me the same gentle spirit that grandma had. I cherish the time I spent living with her. She was a wonderful Christian woman and was a wonderful listener. She was so very happy for me when I finally met the man I was going to marry. She told me she had been praying for me to meet someone, so I have no doubt Bob came into my life because my grandma prayed! She was indeed an awesome prayer warrior and could pray for great lengths of time. I teased her that God probably brought Bob into my life just so that she would leave Him alone ! LOL! I know grandma will be greatly missed by many people. I can almost hear her singing with the angels, as only grandma could sing! She is finally with pappy and Wendy again, as well as with other family and friends who went on before her. I know I will see her again one day. Until that time, I will try and live my life in a way that will show others the love I have for my Lord, just like grandma did!

Detours

I always dread seeing a detour sign for a road I need to take when I'm driving somewhere. Many times I only know one way to get to where I'm going and I don't know the back roads. I have to hope and pray that there are detour signs along the way that point out where I need to go next. If there are no signs because they just assume everyone knows the way, I have to rely on the cars in front of me to guide me. Yes, I PRAY that they know where they are going!

It's the same way in the Christian life. The decisions we make may take us on a detour from the perfect route God has laid out for us, but He knows the way we need to go in order for us to get back to where to He wants all. All we need to do is follow Him! There are definitely times we won't have a clue as to where we are going or where He is taking us, but I know God knows and He will never lead you the wrong way. We just need to trust Him.

I'm not sure why God laid this on my heart this morning, but He brought it to mind again this evening so I knew I was suppose to type it out here. I hope this helps whoever it was meant for!

Oh Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say

I have been struggling for over a week now with my emotions. My grandma is probably in her last days here in this world. She has lived a good long life and is homesick for heaven. I know she wants to see Jesus as well as pappy and Wendy (my sister) again. I have no doubt when she enters those pearly gates, they'll be standing there right next to Jesus welcoming her to heaven with their arms open wide. I know I have been blessed to have had such a wonderful Christian woman as my grandma. I know this in my HEAD, but it doesn't stop my HEART from breaking. I'm going to miss her so much when she is gone, even though I know she'll be at peace and oh so very happy!

The other day someone was trying to help, but the person's words didn't help. In fact, they kind of hurt because it didn't feel as if they understood at all what I was going through. The person said I should feel happy because I knew grandma was going to heaven. Later I was told by this same person that I should feel blessed that I had my grandma this long because this person had lost their grandma when they were in their 20s. As I've already said, I know in my head that grandma is going to heaven, and I will be happy for her. I know in my head that I am blessed to have had her this long. Does any of that help it to hurt less? Not really. I can't turn off what my heart is feeling.

I have been through 3 miscarriages and there were 2 things that I absolutely HATED to hear: "You can have another one" and "It was God's will." I know now, as a result of going through miscarriages, that I am able to help others who are going through it. I can empathize with them because I've gone through it myself. I eventually did have a child after suffering my first miscarriage, and I had another child after suffering 2 more miscarriages. So even though those things that I hated to hear were true, they weren't what I needed or wanted to hear at that moment in time!

This morning, I was thinking about what happened last week with this person telling me how I should feel about my grandma being in her last days and I thought about writing a letter to this person letting them know how their words had hurt me. I then opened up my Bible and read Matthew 7. The very FIRST verse in that chapter says "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." Tears filled my eyes as I continued to read the first 6 verses in Matthew because I realized God was talking to me, and gently scolding me. He was about to show me something that I hadn't been thinking about. How many times have I said something hurtful to someone? I know I've said stuff when I was upset or angry that I never should have allowed myself to say. I was thinking of removing the speck from another person's eye when I had a plank in my own eye!

The title for my blog came to me very quickly. A few weeks ago, I heard the song "Slow Fade" on the radio and absolutely loved it. It is now the third song on my playlist in case you've never heard the song before or if you just want to listen to it. God reminded me this morning that I really need to be careful and think before I say something. I know I may not always know when something I say was taken the wrong way or did wind up hurting someone, but I pray that God will let me know when I've said something so I can go and apologize as soon as possible. Mostly I pray that the words that come out of my mouth are always said/used to build someone up and never tear them down, and that my words are said in love and not anger.

Cast Off

I'm sure you know as well as I do that it can be very easy to worry about stuff, especially when it is out of our control. I Peter 5: 7 says "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." Isn't it awesome to know that we can take all our worries and concerns to the creator of the universe?! Some may think that the God who created the universe couldn't care less about us, but that is NOT what the Bible tells us! God LOVES us and He CARES about what we are going through and what is bothering us. He wants us to bring all our cares to Him and LEAVE THEM THERE! He doesn't want us to worry about anything. He wants us to tell Him what is bothering us so that we don't need to continue worrying about it because we know that He will take care of everything!

As I was thinking about this verse, I realized I had done just that the night before. For the past month, Micah has had a cough that just won't go away. On the good days, he only coughs first thing in the morning and when he first goes to bed. When it gets bad, he'll cough all day and all night. Sarah had a bad cough a few weeks ago that only lasted for a few days and then went away. Saturday she woke up with a persistent cough that would just not quit. Saturday night, I didn't get more than an hour or two of sleep because I could hear Sarah and Micah coughing so badly. I had already given them cough medicine so there was nothing else I could do but lie there and listen to them. My husband stayed home with both kids on Sunday because I had to be there since I was singing on the worship team. God gave me the strength to sing and praise Him in spite of how tired I was. I usually go to bed around 11 pm, but it was barely 9 pm Sunday night and I couldn't stay awake any longer. Before heading to bed, I let God know that I was extremely tired and needed to sleep tonight. As I walked up the stairs, I could hear Sarah coughing. I climbed into bed, heard her cough again, but I fell asleep shortly thereafter and slept all the way through the night! My kids are still coughing today, but I truly believe the Lord quieted their coughs last night because I told Him my concern about needing to sleep so I could function today (which I definitely needed since vacation is over and school has started again).

There may be times you feel what you are worried about seems small or insignificant, but God cares about it no matter what it is! Don't hold on to your worries and fears. Cast them off yourself and onto God. Let Him deal with them!

My New Year's Resolution

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas. I also hope the Lord blesses each of you richly this coming year. I don't usually make resolutions, but the idea of making a "resolution" came to mind on Dec. 31 as I was doing my devotions. It's been something I've been wanting to do, and I guess the Lord was letting me know to give it to Him and see what happens. So, I made a resolution to cut back on the amount of soda I drink each day...to just one can a day (instead of the 2-3 I was drinking). I know there may be days I drink more than one, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I know there's going to definitely be some testing in the weeks ahead because next weekend we have 3 birthday parties, one of which is for Sarah's 10th birthday!! The week after that is a bridal shower. Next month, we have a wedding and the following week is a party for Micah's 5th birthday! I know I'm allowed to celebrate from time to time and have an extra soda, but I'm really going to try to keep in mind that I want to succeed at this and not have an extra glass or can of soda just because "I can celebrate today and drink just one tomorrow." I know with God's help, I'll be able to keep my focus and stick to it this time because I've written it down and given this to God!

Of course, Satan also knows about this and is already trying to make me fail. It only took ONE day for me to feel the effects of cutting back on my soda intake. Yesterday I had a massive headache all day long, and I truly think it may have been a caffeine withdrawal headache! I've had them before when I tried to cut back, and I usually gave up trying because I just could not stand dealing with the headache. I refused to drink a soda like I REALLY wanted to at lunch because I was NOT going to give in so easily this time! I survived and today I felt much better. My daughter Sarah is cheering for Upwards this year and today was her first game. I kept myself busy for awhile taking pictures and talking, but then Micah said he was hungry because he saw there was a table set up with snacks on it. So I took him over to the table and bought him a juice box and some goldfish. Why am I telling you this? Because they also had cans of soda in the same cooler as the juice boxes. I actually picked one up and it was as if God quietly reminded me that I really didn't need that. It wasn't even that hard for me to put the soda back down in the ice and walk away! I definitely look forward to dinner when I do get to drink my can of soda, but I have made it 3 days now and have only had one soda each day! HURRAY!

Now since I told you I bought a digital camera and could post some pictures more often, I suppose I should let you see some pictures from our Christmas! In order to keep the focus on the true meaning of Christmas, we do three gifts that symbolize the three gifts the Wise Men brought to Jesus. Gold is something they want. This year Sarah got a Little Pets set (Picture #3) and Micah got an Ambulance (Picture #4). Frankincense is something they need, which is always clothes (Picture #2 shows them holding up the top of their outfits. Both Sarah and Micah got a 2-piece outfit)! Myrrh is something to build them up spiritually (Bible, video, Christian CD). This year they both got CDs (Picture #1 shows them opening/looking at their CDs). The last picture is a family picture that was taken at my parent's house. Hope you enjoy them!

Forgiven

I John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." I've heard and read that verse many times, but yesterday I was thankful when I read that verse! Thankful because I was reminded of the days when people had to offer burnt offerings as a sacrifice as they sought forgiveness for their sins. I was thankful that we don't have to do that! Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice when He died for our sins upon the cross. I was thankful I don't live in a country where people think they need to hurt themselves or make a big public display when they commit a sin and seek forgiveness.

When I read this verse, I just thought how EASY it was to have our sins forgiven. All we need to do is confess our sins! OK, I know admitting we sinned and did something wrong can be quite difficult at times; however, what we receive in return makes it all worth it! We receive TOTAL forgiveness! How many times has someone told us that they forgive us, yet they keep reminding us of what we did wrong. God does NOT do that! He forgives us and forgets it. He will NEVER remind us of our past failures and sins.

Our worship team leader gave an illustration that fits perfectly with this. She said she envisioned a man standing alone. He could hear God's voice, but he couldn't see Him. She then saw that God's voice was coming from behind this brick wall that surrounded the man. On each brick she saw a sin that this man had committed: unforgiveness, hatred, lust, etc. Those sins were what was separating this man from God. She then saw the other side of the wall, the side that God was looking at. On every brick was written "FORGIVEN". This man was looking at all the things he had done wrong, yet God had already forgiven him for all those things! He simply needed to tear down that wall so that he could be close to God!

Are there sins in your life that Satan keeps reminding you of? Have you already asked God to forgive you of those sins? Then you ARE forgiven! You can tell Satan that you are no longer bound by those sins because God forgave you from them and He has forgotten them! If you have unconfessed sins, all you have to do is confess them to God and you will be forgiven! Don't build a wall! Tear it down! Draw close to God.

Just had to share!

We went to the Palmer Park Mall last night to go to Dairy Queen. We had a "buy one blizzard, get one free" coupon and if you are like me, you just can't let one of those coupons go to waste! I saw they had a Boscov's there and since we had a gift card to use, we went in to look around. I saw they had digital cameras on sale so I looked at them and decided to buy one that was on sale (one we could actually afford!), but they told me I couldn't use the Boscov's gift card there because the place selling the cameras is actually a Ritz Camera Store that just rents the space in Boscov's. CRUD! So I reluctantly said I didn't want it after all then and we kept looking around. We found a set of cook wear on sale, so I used the gift card on that and spent a whopping $8.00 for a 10 piece set! Bob knew how much I've wanted a digital camera though so he said as long as we could pay for the camera when the bill came, I could go ahead and buy it! So I bought myself a Christmas gift! I know there are many digital cameras better than the one I bought (Olympus FE-310), but this one fit our budget and does what I need it to do...take nice pictures! I'll have to learn more about the various functions it does because right now I just keep it on the AUTO setting! LOL!

The saleswoman actually suggested we buy rechargeable batteries for it because she said it will use regular AA batteries very quickly and that will save us some money. I also read the instructions book and saw I could use the camera without a memory card (it would just save the pictures on the camera's internal memory), but I wanted to be able to print off pictures OCCASIONALLY at Wal-mart and I'm pretty sure you need a memory card to do that. So I went to Amazon.com and looked at what they charge for a memory card and rechargeable batteries. I knew I had about $50 in gift certificates that I could use toward the total cost, so my price for a 2 GB memory card and 2 packs of AA rechargeable batteries (total of 8 batteries since there were 4 in a pack) came to...are you ready for this?.....NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEHAW!! Now I can post pictures more frequently on here if I want to! Yup, that picture at the beginning of this post is one of the pictures I took today with my new camera! YEAH!